By Cherokee Ronolo-Valdez, Fellow Class of 2018
University of Denver
For the first time in years, you finally believe that everything is in control and will be A-Okay. One minor problem: Covid-19. In the blink of an eye, that feeling is snatched away. Suddenly, all that you have been looking forward to–that final hockey game, the final all-nighter, graduation–is just...gone. Materialistic things, you try to convince yourself, that’s all those are. The fact of the matter is that as a first-generation college student, these were more than just materials – they were landmarks that signaled you made it.
Now, as you count down the days until the end of the academic quarter. It feels like you are physically drowning, because there is no buoy, no lifeboat in the distance within your reach. There is no island afloat to keep you safe. While you knew there would be moments of uncertainty after graduation, you never thought there would be this much in what was meant to be your most anticipated quarter ever. Point blank? It sucks. But you were raised to persevere and to pick yourself up, dust off your pants, and just carry on.
It does not matter that you are no longer in the driver seat. You turn up the music, because sometimes all that matters is being able to step back and reevaluate what is most important for the time being. This has been the epitome of my college career. This skill of reevaluation has been a constant in my everchanging identity as a college student. Over the past three years, I have come to realize how to take that step back and tune in to what it is that is actually important. From changing my major three times within two consecutive quarters sophomore year to dropping out of a master’s program. Life, and people are constantly changing and while it is terrifying on the surface, that is perfectly fine.
Right now, all everyone wants is to get back to a “normal” life, but when was life ever normal? We have routines and we have this sense of self, but we are so constantly changing, at the smallest of degree, that until we decide to sit down and reevaluate ourselves, it is years until we realize our “normal” has changed. The only thing Covid-19 did was condense the changing process. It has forced us to reevaluate sooner than we would have done on our own, and writing this blog post, I realize that it is not necessarily a bad thing.
Covid-19 has forced me to realize that flexibility is an important way of life. While I believe in planning, I also think it is important to recognize when it is time to throw the plan away and simply figure out how to do the next right thing for your new self. Am I angry? Yes. Am I sad? More than I care to admit. Am I going to figure out where to go from here? Always.
